Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Abid the Muslim becomes Abid the Terrorist

Well it finally happened. We all loved Abid the Muslim and thought he was a very nice guy. But like we always expected Abid, a driver who works with me, is indeed a terrorist.

For the longest time I was in denial. I mean sure he was known for occasional fits of rage and cursing America, but I mean what is really wrong with that. And sure he had to celebrate Ramadan by leaving work and praying toward Mecca at sunset. He really just seemed like the quirky Muslim guy with a temper. But last night he finally crossed the line.

He was going on and on about how he needed more hours (he had a legit argument, but I am saving that for a later post) and he was told to go home early because the store's labor costs were too high. Well, before he left, Abid (The Terrorist) answered the phone and took a customer's order. He "accidentally" mixed the order up in the computer, but made the pizzas the last way.

He then left to go home (is it a cave? no, but probably). We remade the pizzas because we thought they were made wrong. About the time the corrected pizzas were coming out of the oven, Abid calls up to tell us everything was right. Since the original pies were eaten already, we had to make the order a third time..... Clearly Abid is trying to screw around with our pizza and that is just UNAMERICAN!!

I am not sure what his master plan is, but I am watching him closely. I mean if he is willing to hit us at our dinner tables there is no telling what he will do.

I am also concerned about myself. It is no secret I may one day run for president (not because I want to, but because the nation will call on me in a time of desperation) and this could possibly be used against me. If my future political opponents choose to attack me for "palling around with terrorists," it could hurt my career. To all you future voters, please keep in mind I am forced to work with him and who knows there may be other future leaders working with us too. Maybe Motsi the Sing Song Guy will one day be the dean of a college, or perhaps Drew "I've got an itch" will be a US senator. Just please don't hold this against me and know I am doing everything in my power to thwart his evil plans!

God bless the USA!

Monday, September 8, 2008

Peacocks, Muslims and a little cash

Well I will say it was a pretty good weekend. I am desperately trying to get a pic of Abid the Muslim since I think he is about to be a blog favorite. I hate that I have to say this every time I mention him, but he is a really nice guy and totally not a terrorist. That being said Ramadan just began, so every day at sundown he has to take some time off of work to go pray and end his fast. This works out for me since these are usually busy times. I get at least 2 extra deliveries during this time--score one for me!!

I only got stiffed one time this weekend. It was at the Mission Ridge apartments and I could tell it was going to happen. The place wasn't well light and when the guy opened the door, I could just see it in his eyes. He had rap music blaring in the background and wasn't wearing a shirt. If he had extra money, he certainly wasn't going to give it to me. I tried to get a photo of the place, but, like I said, it was pretty dark at his place.

Anyways the guys name is Brandon Smith and he is our latest addition to the Pie of Shame:
Brandon Smith
3319 Mission Ridge Bldg # 34
Atlanta, GA 30080

On a more pleasant note, I saw peacocks while delivering on Sunday. Here are a couple of pics, but they didn't come out too well.

These were actually at an apartment complex off of Spring Hill Rd. If you know the area, you know there isn't any real reason for these 2 peacocks to be there. So, I was very surprised to see them just hanging out in the parking lot. I thought about throwing something at them so they would spread their feathers, but I didn't really want to scare them off. Plus, they don't seem to have those long feathers. I believe only the males have them, so these 2 may have been females. If they were looking for a mate, they were definitely in the wrong part of town.

Here are my stats from Saturday and Sunday. They were both decent days, but Sunday was great. It wasn't crazy busy, but steady and it seemed like everything I took had another run that just had to go with it. At least twice I delivered to 2 different people in one hotel on the same run. That is always good money.

Saturday
Tips made: $39
Runs taken: 9
Stiffs: 1

Sunday
Tips made: $62
Runs taken: 15
Stiffs: 0
Peacocks spotted: 0

Monday, September 1, 2008

Catch up time

OK, I haven't been able for awhile so this post is a bit of a catch up.

Saturday:
It was an OK night. At one point another driver, Abid the Muslim, was getting mad because he had been there about 6 hours and only made $15. He isn't a terrorist or anything, but he was pretty upset throwing around a lot of Allah this and revenge that stuff (that's not true actually).

Later in the evening I answered the phone and took an order from a very friendly woman. She said "Now baby... if you can get that pizza here fast, I promise you are going to be very happy!"

Well Abid the Muslim got the order and I told him what she said. When he got back he said she asked "Have you been good?"

"Yea," he said
"Oh and have you been bad?" she said.
"Well, a little bit."

She then said she would tip him $5 per hug and then hugged him 3 times. He was in a much better mood when he got back to the store.

THE PIE OF SHAME
I have 2 people to add to the Pie of Shame (formerly the wall of shame).
The first was at the La Quinta, located at 2415 Paces Ferry Rd. Atlanta, Ga. 30339. It was room 108 and the customer's name was Orlando Vigo. It was a couple of Hispanic guys. They seemed to be in town for the Alabama and Clemson game. Usually, Hispanic guys tip OK, but this guy just signed his credit card slip and handed it back to me.

The second one, was a thousand times more annoying. I delivered to the Double Tree Hotel on 2055 South Park Place, Atlanta Ga. 30339. The front desk won't let pizza men deliver to the room, so they call the customer down to the lobby while you wait. I sat there for close to 10 minutes before a huge black woman came up. She said to hold on while she went out the front door to find someone. She came back after another 5 minutes and made a call up to the room asking someone else to bring some money. But as she did, two of her friends (sons maybe) walked up to pay me. The bill was $26.65. The woman walked away and one of the guys handed me a handful of ones and a bunch of loose change. I quickly counted the bills. There was only $6 there!

I told the guy he owed me some money because there was no way he have me $20 worth of change. I know that guy was hoping I would just shove the money in my pocket and walk away. So he reached in another pocket pulled out some a load of cash and handed it to me without even counting it.

But I took my time and counted every single dime. He gave me EXACT change and about $7 of it was in change!!! I simply put the money in my pocket and walked out. Unfortunately I didn't get any of there names and wasn't able to get photos.

here are my stats for Saturday:
tips made: $49
runs: 13
stiffs: 2


SUNDAY
This day was slammed. The football crowd was still in town and buying pizza during the long Labor Day holiday. Most of the tips were good and didn't get stiffed a single time!

I did deliver to a nice neighborhood near Teasley Elementary School and they were having a cute little fundraiser. There were some young kids playing some live rock music (playing poorly, but that's not the point). They were playing to a crowd of parents in the front yard. It was really just a cool/nice thing to see. They ordered $47 worth of pizza and tipped $7.

My stats for Sunday:
Tips made: $65
runs: 17
stiffs: 0!!
rockbands seen: 1

Friday, August 22, 2008

a funny video

I am actually off this weekend and won't have many stories to share. But never fear, I will at least give you this funny video:

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

My love/hate relationship with QuickTrip


I was reminded today why I hate QT ... and why I love it.

Let's start with why I love it. The gas prices are usually the cheapest, it has a good selection of cheap decent food (taquitos!) and the fountain drinks are so cheap! It is really a savor on long nights of driving around down.

But, you take your life into your own hands every time you are in that parking lot. It is usually so busy and people are doing crazy driving maneuvers in the smallest spaces. Today, I pulled into a local QT and right away was confronted with a situation.

A van was backing into a parking spot and his bumper was just sliding in. A truck pulled into the parking lot and for some reason decided to drive between the van and the end of his parking spot. The truck stopped in the middle of the spot realizing he was driving in the parking area and other cars in front of him were blocking him (duh). So, the van starts honking because he is blocked and the truck has nowhere to go. Another truck is now waiting behind the first truck trying to get thru.

Finally the first truck pulls forward and just backs into a parking spot. Problem solved right? No! The second truck (who just witnessed this) decides to also pull behind the van. So the whole scene is repeated. Cars are backed up all around them because the punks have no idea how to drive.

About this time I just swung around to the back and parked, partly to get out of the way and partly to move on with my life. When I came out of the store (with energy drink in hand) the cars had somehow worked it out, but this is the nonsense I see all the time.

I do love the QT, but I try not to visit it during busy times because people simply cannot drive!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Rich people don't tip

When I first got to work yesterday, it was extremely slow. I sat around for about an hour just talking smack with the manager and other drivers. Eventually a quasi-soccer/volleyball game broke out in the back room. I didn't play (I was too busy eating one of our new sandwiches) but Manager Drew ended up winning.

Then all of a sudden it got busy.


Only one run was really noteworthy and that was the delivery to 2453 Tyne Terrace. This neighborhood is a little farther away than many in our area, but it is full of really nice homes, so you can usually expect a good tip. Which is exactly what I did when I saw the address. But as I pulled up to the house, I vaguely remembered getting a small tip there before (I am thinking it was $1). But still, I pressed on. I mean this house was beautiful, and with an Escalade and a Mercedes SUV in the driveway I should get a decent tip.

So I went to the door, rang the bell and waited. While I stood there, I heard little kids playing just on the other side of the door. They started making faces at me and playing around through the window. Then eventually an older man answered the door. I don't know if he was the kid's grandfather or perhaps just an old dad. Either way I handed him the credit card receipt. He quickly signed it and handed it back to me.

This is exactly the type of person that needs to be put on the Wall of Shame. He clearly has some coin and is stingy with it. If you don't want to tip your delivery man, then don't get delivery! The worst part is he will probably have those children doing the same thing when they grow up.

I was talking about this delivery to another driver, Stan the Man, later in the evening. He said he remembered delivering to that house before too, and also got no tip. These people are repeat non-tippers!!

Anyway, here is the official mark on the wall:


listed to Beth Toberman
2453 Tyne Terrace SE
Smyrna, GA 30080


Just a thought, I have these people's phone numbers too. Should I start listing that on the Wall of Shame?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Delivering to the hood

Tonight was fairly busy at the pizza shop. Which was good cause I could use some money. I had to deal with Annoying Kevin and Slow Ken a little, but since I wasn't in the store much it wasn't too bad.

I have another person to add to the Wall of Shame. Ms. Clark at the Galleria Apartments located at 2603 Galleria Lane, Smyrna GA 30080 didn't tip me tonight.

She ordered one pizza and I got her pizza out to her pretty quick. Her total was $19.60. She smiled as she handed me a 20 and told me to keep the change. I tried to get a photo of her place but as soon I left her door a couple hood rats started yelling at her. I am sure they were friends since they were joking around a bit.

One of the guys started yelling "I smell money!" to her. I think he just wanted some free pizza from her.

It mostly ticked me off that she said "keep the change." I just turned around and walked back to my car without saying anything to her. I was in a hurry to get other pizzas out to tipping customers, so I left made that I even wasted my time on her.

Anyway, here is our newest member to the wall again:
Ms. Clark
Galleria Apartments off of Spring Rd.
2603 Galleria Lane,
Smyrna, GA 30080

here are my stats for the night"

Tips made: $57
Runs taken: 13
Miles driven: ?? (sorry, I forgot to check the odometer)

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Another slow night, no tip

Well the hits just keep coming. After taking a while to find someone for the wall of shame, I have a new customer to add to it. And I don't feel bad about this one.

Keshia Lowery at 2630 Argo Dr. in Smyrna, GA didn't tip me tonight. Here is the house:



She only ordered one pizza, but there were about 16 people inside having some sort of party. She clearly wasn't hurting for money (and if she were, she shouldn't have me deliver a pizza to her). Her total was $12.18. She handed me $20. I gave her back the appropriate change and watched her slowly count. I was expecting her to hand me a tip here and asked her if everything was cool. She said yea and closed the door. So, I am glad to add her to the wall of shame.

In other pizza news, my store recently started selling oven-cooked sandwiches and they are totally decent. I mean, why a pizza place would want to sell pizzas is beyond me, but if they can make some money off it than more power to them. Anyway, if there isn't a Subway around and you don't have any sandwich stuff already in your house, then the subs are worth a try.

Tips made:$29
Runs taken: 7
Miles Driven: 30

Friday, August 15, 2008

Our first victim


Well, it took longer than expected, but we have our first non-tipping scumbag to add to the wall of shame.

On Tuesday night I took a delivery to the La Quinta on Paces Ferry Road. I knocked on room 118 and was greeted by a seemingly nice Asian man. I told him his total of $11.43 and this guy hands me $11.50!!! Now, I kinda feel bad that he has to go on the hall of shame. This guy may not understand our culture and that tipping is required. Waiters and waitresses make about 15 percent of the total check. I get maybe $2 and i drive the food all the way to your house!! That doesn't seem fair, especially considering gas prices these days.

But back to my Asian friend, according to my ticket his name is Uang. Well sir, you may not know our customs, but you are being called out! You are the first on our wall of shame!

Uang
LaQuinta Inn room 118
2415 Paces Ferry Rd
Atlanta, GA 30339

The rest of the night went ok. Here are the stats of the night:

Tips made: $49
Runs taken:11
Miles driven: 32

Monday, August 11, 2008

Don't bite the messenger

If I would have known starting this blog would cause all my customers to always tip, I would have started it a long time ago. As often as I typically get stiffed, I would have thought my wall of shame would be nearly endless by now. But I am still waiting for our first victim.

Last night ended up being a pretty good night. I didn't get stiff and made $47 in tips. It was mostly a steady night, not too busy or too slow. As far as interesting things there was only one thing and it seems pretty tame.

I delivered to an apartment. As I stood waiting on the porch, from a near by park running up the stairs with her dog. Well, it is probably more accurate to say she was being dragged by her dog. The dog was a huge black German Shepard and it was barreling at me. The woman wasn't strong enough to control it and she fell to her knees as the dog made its way toward me.

I stood still, cornered on the front porch, wondering what the dog would do. Fortunately, the dog was friendly and instead of ripping my head off, it simply smelled me and barked a lot. I know these seems more like a mailman's blog, but i could have been attacked.

I love big dogs, but I also think you better be able to control your dog. But end the end it wasn't a big deal, just an excited dog. Plus, I made a $3 tip.

I work again on Tuesday night. Maybe we can add someone to the wall of shame then.

Tips made: $47
Orders taken: 12
Miles driven: 41

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Don't invite me in your house!

Tonight was kind of slow again. Luckily, it picked up toward the end, so it wasn't a total wash. The tips were average- nothing large and no stiffs.

I was sort of hoping to get a stiff so I could post all the info w/picture of the scum bag on here, but I guess I will have to wait just a little longer.

Nothing too exciting happened tonight, but a woman did invite me into her apartment. It is always a little weird when someone asks you to come inside. This lady was nice and it wasn't a big deal, but I always feel awkward going into someone's home. I mean, typically I just stand there while they get the money. What am I supposed to do? I just stand there looking around and trying not to intrude. It is just a lot easier to hang out at the doorway. I don't really understand why someone would invite the pizza man in the house anyway. I mean how do they know I am not some sort of crazy person?

I am just saying, it is a lot less complicated if you don't invite me in your home.

Tips made: $38
Runs made: 13
Miles driven: 47

I have to work again tomorrow, hopefully I will make some better loot. If not, hopefully I can get some stiffs so I can put all the info on here.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

A slow night

Last night was a slow night. I arrived at work just before 5 p.m. and sat around with 4 other drivers for about an hour before I took my first delivery. During the down time we basically fooled around and talked some trash.

During the down time Driver Drew (there is another Drew, the manager) decided to prank call Chris (the geeky assistant manager). So, from the lobby Driver Drew called Geeky Chris and started asking about specials. Drew and Chris were about two feet apart, face-to-face and Chris didn't realize it was Drew on the line for about five minutes. Sometimes, Geeky Chris is also, Dummy Chris.

Anyways, it was a pretty boring night. There was a lot of sitting around waiting for the phone to ring. I didn't really think I was going make much money until the last two runs of the night. That is when a Hispanic chick gave me $6 and a rich old white guy gave me $10 (rich old white guys are the best).

I work again on Saturday and the weekends are always crazy, so I should have some good posts to share after that.

Total runs: 7
Tips made : $42