Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Abid the Muslim becomes Abid the Terrorist

Well it finally happened. We all loved Abid the Muslim and thought he was a very nice guy. But like we always expected Abid, a driver who works with me, is indeed a terrorist.

For the longest time I was in denial. I mean sure he was known for occasional fits of rage and cursing America, but I mean what is really wrong with that. And sure he had to celebrate Ramadan by leaving work and praying toward Mecca at sunset. He really just seemed like the quirky Muslim guy with a temper. But last night he finally crossed the line.

He was going on and on about how he needed more hours (he had a legit argument, but I am saving that for a later post) and he was told to go home early because the store's labor costs were too high. Well, before he left, Abid (The Terrorist) answered the phone and took a customer's order. He "accidentally" mixed the order up in the computer, but made the pizzas the last way.

He then left to go home (is it a cave? no, but probably). We remade the pizzas because we thought they were made wrong. About the time the corrected pizzas were coming out of the oven, Abid calls up to tell us everything was right. Since the original pies were eaten already, we had to make the order a third time..... Clearly Abid is trying to screw around with our pizza and that is just UNAMERICAN!!

I am not sure what his master plan is, but I am watching him closely. I mean if he is willing to hit us at our dinner tables there is no telling what he will do.

I am also concerned about myself. It is no secret I may one day run for president (not because I want to, but because the nation will call on me in a time of desperation) and this could possibly be used against me. If my future political opponents choose to attack me for "palling around with terrorists," it could hurt my career. To all you future voters, please keep in mind I am forced to work with him and who knows there may be other future leaders working with us too. Maybe Motsi the Sing Song Guy will one day be the dean of a college, or perhaps Drew "I've got an itch" will be a US senator. Just please don't hold this against me and know I am doing everything in my power to thwart his evil plans!

God bless the USA!

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